The Friday Funny: Top ten things you’ll never hear from the researcher you hired to do an evaluation

Top ten things you’ll never hear from the researcher you hired to do an evaluation

  1. Let’s make sure the findings are ready in time for key decision points – even if that means getting just an approximate answer for you
  2. Oh yes, evaluation expertise is paramount for getting this right; that’s why we have a senior evaluator (rather than a researcher) heading the project
  3. No, it doesn’t matter in the slightest if the project doesn’t fit in with my academic research agenda
  4. You’re right; we really got lost in the details there (and I doubt we’ll find our way out, ever)
  5. Actually, I’ve included that in the evaluation plan solely because it’s of interest to me academically and I might be able to publish a paper off it
  6. The executive summary should definitely be no more than a page and should contain a succinct summary of the key findings
  7. Rigorous measurement and description isn’t enough; we’ll give you a well-reasoned conclusion about whether the outcomes were good enough
  8. Of course we’ll provide direct answers to the evaluation questions, not just free associate to them with the data
  9. Let’s present our findings in plain language that everyone will understand
  10. How about paying us based on the utility, value, and timeliness of our work to you, the client?

[This one’s a Genuine Evaluation original, based very loosely on the Top Ten Things You’ll Never Hear From a Consultant (also worth a look; original source unknown).]

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